Sparkly – I don’t know why you are saying Motzi Shem Ra on yourself. From other things you have posted, you clearly are working hard on shmiras ainayim. You asked for suggestions of “kosher” books to read, and you mentioned being bothered by the fact that a librarian gave you a book with a treif picture. I was very impressed by that! You obviously are trying to work on it. My impression of you in general is that you are someone who does try to work on herself especially when it comes to tznius matters.
Working on oneself doesn’t mean being perfect tomorrow. It means trying to do what one can and continually finding small steps one can take to improve.