Sorry about my assumptions.
Some of my comments were not directed solely at you. The first one was and I was wrong to assume. Everyone has their reasons. I was upset at the general idea that “women should not be on top of their husbands’ learning.” If he is on VIN or YWN during times when he should be in kollel, well there seems to be a problem with that. It is wasting other people’s money. If he was working and was spending time on non-work activities, then that could be gezel ect. same with kollel- they are getting a stipend for a reason.
Once again, I am sorry about any pain I might have caused you as I know you would do your utmost to learn in kollel.