Of course if you want is very meaningful. Hashem knows your thoughts and your nisyoines. Why do you ever think there’s no point of being good? Because you fall back? That’s part of your nisoyan. Wanting to want is beautiful in itself. If you would do some good reasoning why you want you might want even stronger until you can stick to it with out to many falls.
One thing for sure NEVER GIVE UP. Even for the smallest effort you get schar.