Writersoul: I definitely agree with you that photos are not necessary. I think they are untznius, demeaning & inappropriate. I also think they are useless and self-defeating. A person’s photo is not the person. When people see photos, it makes them more likely to say no, and you just end up cutting yourself off from potential shidduchim who might have been fine with the way you look in real life.
I know that even as a girl, there have been times when I was reluctant to go out with a guy because of his photo, and sometime later, I met him in real life and saw that he didn’t even look like his picture, or else he did but it didn’t bother me in real life.
Shul is usually unimportant if you are a girl, although if you’re 19, I suppose your parents’ shul might mean something. If you’re an older girl, even your parents’ shul is unimportant.
Appearance: The only thing that might be necessary and appropriate is height. IMHO, eye and hair color are inappropriate to put on a resume. If the guy/girl really cares, they will ask, but do you want to marry someone who asks a question like that??!!!! I once received a resume of a guy who specified the hair and eye color he was looking for! Sick!!
References: Almost everyone calls references in my experience! There are some older singles who have no patience to and don’t, but I think that’s stupid and dangerous (esp. if you’re a girl).