kapusta-
Do you listen to a cappella?
I’m not much into music myself, but I have family members who are. If you’re interested, I’ll ask for recommendations and post them here.
Also, if you’re having a really tough time, maybe ask a shaila about whether you can be maikil with music.
SaysMe-
Wow.
I’m not sure if this is the type of praise you want to hear, but you certainly have the talent of expressing yourself in writing ?
Right now you’re quite down – some of what you describe are symptoms of depression – but I’m positive things will improve; the only question is how fast that will happen.
If nothing else, take a walk outside and enjoy the beautiful weather we’re now having (well, when the rain clears up anyway) – that’s usually good for a pick-me-up.