when will the tears stop?? Never??
I want to just be happy for her. I AM so happy for her! But i need her :(. She’s my best friend, she’s closer than any sister could be. She knows me inside and out, understands me, gets me. I don’t wanna lose this friendship :'(. I don’t know how to cope with these emotions. Shes the most special, sensitive, caring, kindest, encouraging, understanding friend. Before her i didn’t know such a friendship could exist and its not one i think can be replicated ever. And now i’m losing her. And i can’t stop crying. I get teary just thinking about it and keep bawling myself to sleep. How long wll this go on? Or will it not stop til she’s married and i adjust? Or til i numb to it? My emotions are on overdrive. I miss her so much already. All the conversations i was waiting to have-will they ever happen now? All the advice i was waiting for the right time to ask-now i’ll have to navigate alone? Or will i now need real help. Thats what every
one else thinks now… A year and a half ago we began learning mussar sefer together. Every night we learn together and then t
alk, generally for at least an hour, often more. And yom tov aside we rarely miss a day. Maybe once every month or two. And now that’s all gonna stop! I won’t even know what to do with myself in the evening! Its been for talking for a couple of years now! I’m losng so much of myself too! My daily learning, my ruchni role model, my friend, my support, my daily lift no matter what happened. I’m not ready to lose her or our friendship. I don’t want to ever!!! :'( :'(