Princess: Welcome back. We missed you! Thanks for your feedback (it’s always nice to hear!) To answer your question:
Ever since I’m little, I wished to die. I remember asking my mother why I can’t die now (btw I was a perfectly happy healthy little girl then) “Why do I have to go through all this trouble? We live in order to die, right? So why can’t I just die NOW?” (Crazy, I know!) When I suffered from anxiety, I truly did want to die. And now…No. I definitely DON’T want to die. I love life. Nevertheless, death doesn’t frighten me as much as it scares others, I guess. It’s like when you have a huge test in school. Some will anticipate it and keep saying how hard and scary it’ll be, while playing around. I guess I know what I’m here for – to “shteig in my middos”, help others, do mitzvos, and ENJOY life – which I’m doing (working hard, believe me). So, the test is just as difficult as it is to others, but I’m studying hard…Get it?
Hope you stay around!