sparkly, if this isn’t an overly personal question, what prompted you toward MO?
Have you ever encountered the works of R Soloveitchik (actually, both R Yosef Dov Soloveitchik and R Ahron Soloveitchik), R Lichtenstein, R Lamm, and others, which explain a lot of the hashkafa of Modern Orthodoxy?
Does your MO rabbi guide you in hashkafa as well as halacha?
Do you believe that your hashkafa is MO? To what extent has it changed since you stopped being yeshivish?
I feel terrible saying this, but it really sounds like you think of MO as the quick and dirty version of the “real thing.”