“Again, I don’t see why you say it has to be that way. If it works for your marriage — great. But not every marriage is that way.”
WRONG!! It hasta be that way cause the Torah and our gedolim say it has to be that way. Are you smarter than Rav Miller? Are you bigger than chazal? The Torah says the man is in charge vhu yimshol bach. Any other way is not kosher and not the way the Torah wants a marraige to be run. I realy think you should ask a shaila about yur marriage since you seem to keep doing things kneged the Torah and all kidushin and marrages have to be kdas Moshe vyisroel.