Hereorthere, in my experience, parents who want to ignore their kids will find a way no matter what the situation. Parents who want to spend time with their kids will find a way (generally).
I live in Bergen County where life is expensive. You need $200,000 to break even with 4 kids in Yeshiva (don’t believe me? There is a blog called 200kchump that talks all about it). Most families cannot sustain that salary with one parent working. So yes, both parents generally need to work. I would rather help support my family than have to take any form of tzedaka (including food stamps, tomchei shabbos, section 8, welfare, yeshiva tuition scholarships etc). There are plenty of people who NEED tzedaka but I don’t. Why? Because feminism allowed to break into a field that was primarily male dominated and obtain a comparbale salary for comparable work. So in my case, “feminism” is support a Torah education for my kids. (and no, we don’t earn $200,000 LOL)