Joseph: First of all, your stress is explicitly against the Rambam where he says, “????? ???? ????? ?? ??? ??? ??? ????”
He says it’s a Gnai. He doesn’t say Assur. He doesn’t say it’s a D’Rabannan. He says it’s a Gnai. That implies it’s a Shevach to avoid. That means a Middas Chassidus or an Eitzah Tovah, not a Halchah.
Similarly, when recommending the husband to limit his wife’s galavanting, he says “Yesh”. He doesn’t say Chayav. He doesn’t imply obligation at all. “Yesh” is a Lashon of Lechatchilah at best. He doesn’t even say “Tzarich”, which is a stronger Lashon of Lechatchilah (well, I’m not positive about the Rambam for that; it’s true for the Shulchan Aruch). “Yesh” implies that it’s a good idea, not that there is any obligation whatsoever.