This has been a very intresting discussion. Lkauffman- it is evident that you are a very caring and insightful parent. I am sure that bezrat Hashem, your daughter will come back to her loving parents. Thank you for sharing with us and bringing up this topic.
Maybe some of you could shed some light on the following:
Kids who go off the derech, how come most of them (correct me if I am wrong) get into “trouble” ie drugs etc. . . .how come they don’t just lead a non frum life like “normal ” goyim, (workto make it to the top of the goyish world) why or what is it that drives them not only to be not frum, but to engadge in self destructive behaviour?
Thank you