This disturbs me and I’d rather not succumb to what I see as a threat to Orthodox continuity.
That’s a new one. Claim Halacha if you would like, but with 3 or 4 reaching maturity that is more than the typical Jewish family 150 or even 100 years ago.
My question to those parents of many, is how they do it?
Either make a boatload of money or claim poverty. Saving and scrimping will not help unless you make a boatload anyway. Even if you make a boatload you may still need deductions, like the familiy with 10 children and the father making 400K a year.
400K pretax = 200K Net.
200K net – 120K tuition (assume 12K per child, may be more) = 80K
80K – 50K Mortgage + Utilities = 30K
30K = Insufficient for necessities of 10 children, including Minivan, insurance, food and clothing.