“were moiser nefesh themselves for Yiddishkeit”
There is a time and place for mesiras nefesh.
For the needs of someone sick and not in danger, categories of Rabbinic enactments are permitted. And these are Rabbinic enactments associated with the Biblical Shabbos.
In the laws of mourning there is generally more of a basis to be lenient.
If you push people to always be moser nefesh, they will be “burnt out” when the real need to avoid the “Big 3” arises.
If I were a Rabbi and anyone came to me with a question about music, my first question would be, “Do you have mood swings, or have you ever been diagnosed with Depression?”