“private, priorities”
No No, I think we should get it out in the open because it will come out eventually anyway. At least let the person know how you secretly prioritize them. Dont do it behind their back.
If I knew the people inviting me over for shabbos deep down viewed me as “less than” or “not good enough” because of factors beyond my control I would not accept the invitation- it would not make me feel good about myself being among such people.
I would choose a shule me and my family would feel like “one of the family”. Not an outsider who will always be an outsider and less than. I hope the giyores mentioned by the OP finds a shule where she can feel like one of the family in and comfortable. Historically, the ways families and nations made peace was by marrying their sons to their daughters and their daughters to their sons.