queen – as i understood gavra (and as i myself would have stated had he not) it isn’t “my house my rules” vs. “my house kids rules”. It is about the delivery, intent and consistency of the rules. The rules have a basis whether the kids understand them or not, and are not just “rules”. That type of parenting is very common and very weak. Anyone who works with kids will tell you that it backfires, it only works while they fear you.
Being strict has nothing to do with that issue. You can be very strict in both types of “rulings” and the productive type is probably the one your daughters principal practiced.
Even if they don’t understand why, the child should understand that the rule is created out of love and care, not ease, social standard, or other ulterior reason.
Well said, especially the point about consistency.