“Why is it that people look at the MO people who don’t follow the rules and claim they represent the “true” MO, but chareidim who don’t follow the rules are deemed the exceptions?”
Perhaps, and I am just hazarding a guess, because there are those who say “we are not shomer” because we are mordern. (The whole term shomer negia as an option is somewhat bothersome) or we eat “out” because we are modern.
You can see similar comments made here by certain posters who say they are not “Cheradi”.
I don’t think you would find someone identifying as charedie saying something is mutter because they are charedie.
Yes I know the usual culprits will say that “but charedim do this or that” but that is not saying something is mutter to you strictly because you consider yourself chareidi.