Wolf, regarding the 13 middot, he has on whom to rely (Tefilla k’Hilchata ch. 4 footnote 26 in the name of Rav Eliashiv being that today everybody knows that there are different minhagim). As for tochacha in general, the Chofetz Chaim said that it is related to hochacha – you have to prove to him that he is wrong. That is easier said than done. People always have rationalizations and excuses.
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