this topic again…
OK here we go.
I have one question for which I would like an answer. For all those who have such definitive and specific information about what could and should be in “the vast majority of cases”, how did you come to this information? Was it from years of experience in the field dealing with dozens or maybe even hundreds of couples and families? If so, please say so, so that what you say can be given the proper credibility. If, however, your statements are merely based on your own thoughts and/or observations of a handful of cases please write with more humility and less definitiveness (read arrogance). (e.g. “In my opinion…, It seems to me…, From the three friends that I’ve watched…, etc.) It can be very off-putting to see someone’s differing opinion stated as fact.
As far as your actual point, I think that many people have a mistaken notion of the effectiveness of therapy. Therapy will not help a person who refuses to see that he/she has a problem and is unwilling to change. From my limited experience, I beleive this to be a great deal of those who lead dysfunctional families. Therefore, to say “they should just go for therapy” is often equivalent to saying “they should just stop being self absorbed, self centered, inconsiderate, animalistic creeps who neglect and abuse their families.
Finally, I will say that I’m pretty sure that if you would spend a couple of days in the shoes of someone who grew up in such a home you might sing a different tune.