Reply To: Giving Negative Information About a Shidduch Candidate

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#1142801
flatbusher
Participant

Part of the problem is people rightfully are reluctant to ask direct questions, and the halachic requirements. If someone asks if a person is on medications, and the person asked knows, should they lie? In some of the responses above, there is a certain amount of misleading going on when you know the answer and say “I have to get back to you.” But quite honestly, especially when it comes to mental problems and/or character traits, I think people just are not that acutely aware of what they may be observing as being a problem. When I was dating I was ultrasensitive about bad temper, and even the slightest hint used to turn me off. If you like someone, you may rationalize that certain traits such as stinginess are not a big deal, but after marriage the may loom large.