a teacher who was always kind and caring changed drastically under the advice of the new principal who made it clear that it was his way or the highway. After one of our kids suffered at this teachers hand, and it was obvious the teacher was very uncomfortable with the directions he’d been given, I told him that if I was him I don’t know if I could sleep at night. I asked him how he decides that his job is more important than the talmidim he is teaching. Months later, on erev yom kippur, he sent me a letter that said that he hopes I am moichel him. He knows he didn’t do anything wrong, that he is who he always was, and that he is employed by ‘x’ and therefore does whatever he is guided to do.
I was surprised by the letter, i really felt him more pity than anger, and this letter just supported that. Does that sound like a sincere ‘apology’? Do i “owe” him michila? my guess is that it was to clear his own guilty conscience as I never responded and he never followed up to find out.
when a person is, in their mind, following shulchan aruch – but the honesty, integrety, responsibility, sincerity is lacking, is it really following the Shulchan Aruch? Did Hashem give us motions to go thru so that we can grow by osmosis, or does He expect us to internalize our commandments, complete them from within and without, and grow from the upheaval and rebuilding?