re insurance guy: Once I asked the shadchan about going to Dor Yesharim (not that serious but wanted to catch something before it got too serious; no need for heartbreak) and he said, I’ll ask the other side but you do know that some people feel it’s inappropriate, tamim tih’ye etc. My answer was, then it’s a good thing we’re doing this now because I would want to find that out too. This is a mindset that I suppose is legitimate for people who are consistent, but for the rest of us, that is for most of us, it is not our derech, and Queen of Persia, we are NOT obligated to ask the shaila because we have a different mesora in this inyan and this general approach to life.
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