OoM – the Russian classic? No. (thanks Wikipedia…)
fiddlesticks – “There are times that you just know that the reason you are rejected is because of your looks…” I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. If it helps, I understand this part of your response the best.
As far as friends vs. spouses are concerned, your point is ludicrous. Marriage is different. Not being attracted to your spouse is a recipe toward making ex-spouses; being attracted to your friends is a recipe toward ex-friends.
“I said that basing your initial decision to date someone based on their looks is ridiculous, unfair, and the girls are better off without someone who does that. To reject someone based on the shape of their nose or the size of their eyes as opposed to whether or not she’ll make a good wife is unfair.”
If they are better off, then why complain? The system self-selects for you.
As far as your good wife argument, two points:
1. In your definition, looks don’t factor in to whats makes a “good wife.” To men, they do. They also use their own definition when deciding.
2. Men have to make decisions, who to cross off and who not. Unlike the rest of the important characteristics which add to the “goodness” of a potential wife, looks are pretty easy to get a clue about. No phone calls needed. People are busy.
If you think pictures are inaccurate and misleading, what do you think of references?
“…I can bet you that he’s been redt girls that on paper would be what he’s looking for, but because he already knows what they look like, he rejects them based on that. “
What do you think he’s LOOKING for again?
“Let’s be real-most guys are not going to get a drop dead gorgeous stunner.”
I think you are wrong. Beauty is subjective.
“[If he rejected me for my personality/views I’d be okay with that] because at least a chance was given.”
I fail to see how a decision about looks doesn’t give a chance but personality does. Those are two distinct areas of compatibility. You need both. A chance was given for both. Your statement seems to be implying that you feel you would stand more of a chance if you were evaluated solely on your personality/views. Someone else might stand more of a chance if evaluated just on looks. This doesn’t speak to the merits of evaluating only one or the other.
Your learning experience idea is very nice. I have a better idea. Find a learning experience that doesn’t involve someone who has better things to do than pay to spend awkward time with a total stranger on date that has no hope of getting anywhere.