to feel this high level of closeness to Hashem it takes many years of work. to give you a few examples to help you understand:
1)Becoming a Baal Betuchen & Emuna (Faith & trust) is no simple matter. A person can’t just say, let me have faith in hashem, it is a long & Difficult journey. Becoming a person of Betuchen & Emuna in Hashem is an average of a 30 year journey minimum. (not from when your born, but from when the journey starts) Do you know what these 30 years are? Only the first 10 percent of the journey is learning every mussar sefer in the world, the other 90 percent of the journey is passing every single Nisayon (test) with Ahava (love) etc… , from accidents to robberies to deaths Chas V’Shalom etc… A true person of Faith knows the mishna in pirkei Avos that says the good & bad is all for the good every minute of the day , 24-7. Every Nisayon that a person gets from Hashem & passes, brings him closer & closer to Hashem & every test that a person experiences gets harder & harder, but a person can never ask Hashem why something bad is happening, because we all know that if a person was not able to pass a test then Hashem would never give it to him. Nothing in the world will effect a person of Bitachon, no matter what happens, cause he knows that everything Hashem does is for the good. Do you know what the reward for being a person of Faith & trust is? The reward is worth more then all the money in the world, the reward is the gift of Happiness, you get to be the happiest person in the world cause nothing in the world will effect you. Now can you tell me a better reward then that?.
2)FASTING: it takes many years to fast with truth & feeling: what’s the reason for fasting what do all fasts have in common? ????? & ?????? (mourning) look at us today we all look at our clocks 5 hours left 4 hours etc… the last 20 minutes we all stand at the clock with our cup of water . Just like it says in the beginning of ????? ????? Hashem said to him, all of your days set aside for fasting are FRAUDS i don’t want anything to do with them. Its TRUE its all FRAUD we don’t mean it or feel it when we fast. we fast because we were told to fast. Whats the use in fasting if you’re not going to feel it? 10% of the reason is because the ????? said to fast the other 90% is why they said to fast, we do the 10 % if you don’t feel it, not that its no use in fasting its already an embarrassment to the fast (itself) if you’d/we’d really want Hashem to forgive you/us for your/our sins you/we would not look at the clock on ??? ????? for that 25 minute break -between Musaf & Mincha-to come up & if you had it you would say some ????? .If you/we really felt bad for the ??? ????? you/we would not look at the clock on ???? ??? when ???? is so you/we can go back to sitting on a couch.
BOTTOM LINE: on any midah a person needs to fix. some of them take 5 years to fix & remove from a person others are much harder & can take even 30 years
Hatzlacha