Reply To: Adar Jokes

Subject: Ten reasons for celebrating Purim.

1. Making noise in shul is a mitzvah.

2. Levity is not reserved for the Levites.

3. If you’re having a bad hair day, you can always wear a mask & no one will know who you are.

4. Purim is easier to spell than Khanuka, Chanukah, Chanuka, Hanuka — the Hebrew name for the Festival of Lights.

5. You don’t have to kasher your home and change all the pots and dishes.

6. You don’t have to build a sukkah and eat outside.

7. You get to drink wine & you don’t have to stand for Kiddush.

8. Mordechai – 1; Haman – 0.

9. You won’t get hit in the eye by a lulav.

10. You can’t eat hamentaschen on Yom Kippur.

11. Mordechai – 1 ; Haman – 0!!!!

Subject: White House Purim.

The first Jewish President of the United States has been inaugurated, and the first Jewish holiday that follows is Purim. So he calls up his mother to invite her to the White House for Purim.

Their conversation goes something like this:

Prez: Mom, with Purim being the first holiday after my inauguration, I want to celebrate it with us at the White House.

Mom: Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to get to the airport and…

Prez: Mom! I’m the President of the United States! I’ll send a limo for you to take you right to the airport!

Mom: OK, but when I get to the airport, I’ll have to stand on the line to buy a ticket and check my baggage. Oh, it will be so difficult for me.

Prez: Mom, don’t worry about standing on lines or any of that. I’m the most powerful person in the world. I’m the President. I’ll send Air Force One for you!!

Mom: Well, OK. But when I get to Washington, I’ll have to find a cab and…

Prez: Momma, please! I’ll have a helicopter waiting for you. It will bring right to the White House lawn!!!

Mom: Well, yeah. But where will I stay? Can I get a hotel room…

Prez: Momma, we have this whole big White House!!!! There will be plenty of room!!!! Please join us for Purim?

Mom: Ok, I’ll be there.

Two seconds later, she calls her friend:

Mom: Hello, Sadie?!! Guess what? I’m spending Purim at my son’s house!!

Sadie: Oh, the doctor?

Mom: No, the other one.