both seudas sounded fine,
the first, men had flaish, women had salmon which is also very nice, maybe the wife said that ladies do not want fleish .
bagels and lox is also very nice. most pple enjoy it very much at a bris seuda, you are not fleishik, you stay light and you can have ur coffee.
maybe the waiters did not know at the table was someone eating meat, so they served her milk in her coffee.
anyways, be happy you were able to partake in both simchas.