ZD – you are correct in theory, and I understand completely what you are saying. Those behaviors do not feel right at all and seem to go against everything we are taught. The line has to be drawn, tho, at letting people who are actively making changes to halacha and claiming it acceptable. If someone is degrading the torah, it is my understanding that they CANNOT be included in a minyan. You are welcome to invite them to dinner, to a shiur, feel free to be in an exercise class with them and display love for them as humans. You are obligated, however, to be clear that you will not support their damaging hashkafos.
This is very different from how you treat someone with a different hashkofo, this is about someone who is actively bringing a breach to orthodox judaism.
If you take it out of the context of judaism, it may be easier to understand. There is a huge difference between respecting a person created in Hashem’s image even tho he believes differently than you, and respecting someone who is encouraging people to go against Hashem’s Torah. I only agree that there should be more evidence of Lshem Shamayim and cause to go along with it.