Joseph- A pshat reading of the Rambam would say that he permits a physical beating. What’s the sevara to say read Rambam non-literally? The Raavad seemed to understand Rambam to be literally referring to wife-beating, which is why he rejects it. Also, the Mechaber in S”A Does not mention anything about wife-beating, court or no court. Why not?
And even granting that, you didn’t answer if your wife washes your hands, feet, and face, or if you take a shower?