It is when they switch roles the wife demanding love and respect and the husband expecting total subservience – that the troubles begin!”
So, so true. So when the husband follows the Torah guidelines and the wife follows what is natural, being a nurturer as is described in the book “The River, The Kettle & The Bird by Aharon Feldman, the marriage is a continual balance of giving – receiving (refilling), giving – receiving (refilling) etc. So no one runs on empty. Which in essence is the Torah guidelines because it is what comes naturally for men and women the Marriage builds on that premise and foundation to be a strong and successful one.
However if you vary from the design and do what is NOT the natural. It will be chaotic and fail.