Sorry Shlishi, the reason I said “borders ” on loshon hora is because I wasn’t sure but the way it was phrased sarcastically was offensive to jewish women, myself included.
This thread reminds me of the proverbial “your slip is showing” argument, do I tell and possibly embarrass her or do I keep quiet because of my american myob mentality and let her walk around like this like a fool all day?
Based on the above comparison to minimize embarrassment here’s how I’d clear it up: same gender only, tactfully (and obviously there’s nothing tactful with shouting) between 4 eyes only (even in public by calling her aside if possible or if no one is within earshot) and lastly (listen up shlishi) if it appears to be user error or lack of awareness, not intentional violation (a snood can slip down a little just as a skirt can pull up — doesn’t mean it’s sanctioned by her rabbi– and a woman may be unaware that her black and yellow outfit is striking from a block away.)
You crack me up gavra, but as you said you are not a woman, so you are obviously not wired like one…