I do a fair amount of photography in public, including city parks and other similar venues. My shots tend to be more nature/landscape shots, so, for me, unless the person in the pic is particularly compelling for some reason, I’d prefer they not be there anyway (and will wait until they leave to take the pic).
However, that does not stop me from photographing people if I can’t avoid it. If I’m in Times Square (which is where I work) and I’m shooting, there is simply no way to avoid people… and so I don’t even bother. If you’re in my shot there, well… tough luck. If you’re in a public place, you have no expectation of privacy and, you’re fair game (although there are commercial restrictions on the usage of such photos).
As for the OP, I’m of two minds. I believe that, if the host of an event specifically asks for no photos, it’s a bit tactless and tacky to then go ahead and take photos and post them publicly. I think the OP went overboard to call it “100% gezel” since, as others have pointed out, nothing is being stolen. It’s tactless and insensitive, but that’s about it.
On the other hand, there are certain social norms and expectations that hosts and guests should adhere to. For example, you would not go to a wedding dressed in a bumblebee costume, since that’s outside the social norms. Likewise, the bride and groom can request that guests show up in bumblebee costumes, but the guests, I feel, would be free to disobey since such a request is, also, outside the social norms of the time/place.
In our days of ubiquitous camera phones and social media, I have to wonder if guests taking pictures is something that has become such a normal thing to do that a host requesting otherwise would fall out of the social norms. You wouldn’t think of inviting guests and asking them to eat only using their left hands or only drinking water (even if other things are served), right?
So, I’m torn between the two. I see both sides.
Interestingly, I photograph a carnival given for special needs children every year (although I didn’t do it this past year because I am in mourning). I simply go around and photograph the kids and adults having a good time at the event. Most people are fine with having their kids photographed at this event, but every now and again, I’ll come up against one who asks me not to do so.
Truthfully, I’m probably not under any actual obligation to accommodate them. Even though it’s a private event, it’s still public (in the sense that the people there have no reasonable expectation of privacy) and I am invited by the organizers to document the event. Nonetheless, I try to accommodate such requests within reason. In other words, I won’t take a shot of their kid alone or in a small group, but I’m not going to skip a crowd shot just because the kid is in it.
The Wolf