DaasYochid – “Standard” would depend on the time and place; I don’t know what it is where I am either. (Does 2 hot dishes @shmorg, cake @Chosson Tisch, 2-5 piece band, bureka, soup, Shnitzel main and fancy cakes for dessert for 300-350 people sound about right?) That can be decided by whatever group of people is in charge of the Hach’nassas Kallah fund.
rkefrat – I am unaware of any Yeshiva in America outside of Lakewood that has such preconditions. From your name, EY (efrat) is a whole different ballgame (Kadur Regel?)