+1 DY and Mammele
A, instead of focusing on what standards people should keep (though I certainly agree that people should stay within their means), why doesn’t someone figure out a way to lower expenses allowing people to save up to cover the wedding costs by themselves?
B, if the kallah’s gifts are being tossed out of the budget, does the chosson get to borrow a tallis from shul every day?
C, It may not require turkey sandwiches in the shul basement, but maybe doing a buffet for the meal is an option to consider. Some Sefardim do it and no one seems to complain much. And I realize bentchers are not a major cost, but maybe halls can have some generic bentchers available instead of the family ordering it. It’ll save some room from someone’s basement too. And how much sense does it make to spend three thousand dollars on a vort? (For a simple vort, plus extras like clothing.)