gaw – while you may or may not have some valid sub points, I think the diversion here is your repeated use of the word “beg”. If they “asked” for money, “raised”the money, “borrowed” the money or “applied” for the money would it still be bothering you so much?
I don’t think anyone can make a wedding in a shul with turkey sandwhiches without feeling degraded but I do agree with the silliness of much of what is done today. That being said, not everyone who “collects” money for their wedding is “begging”.