Pashuteh Yid,
You wrote:
“In the real world, it is very easy to tell when you are dealing with an obnoxious neighbor. In the chareidi world, obnoxious behavior is easy to masquerade as frumkeit. I personally can’t tell the difference. Maybe the other’s here who have ruach hakodesh can.”
I don’t believe that this behavior is typical in the chareidi world. People are more likely to notice these egregious examples because the behavior is so obnoxious. It’s possible that other people reacted neutrally or positively to seeing the children care for the kittens, but that the children didn’t notice this as much. At least, speaking for myself, I would remember being called a “goy” because I’m caring for a kitten more than I’d notice being praised for it.
I also think that a positive upbringing from a parent like Bowzer would be more than sufficient to counteract negative comments from ignorant neighbors with respect to keeping children on the derech. Of course there are some parents who are unable to provide this positive upbringing, or who are treating their own children in this manner, but that is a different issue.
To know the difference between obnoxious behavior & frumkeit, consult a trusted Rav. Even if this knowledge won’t affect the critic, it will be invaluable for yourself & those you love.