We should teach how the attitude some jewish women have is precisely what reform taught – during the haskala, the teshuvah seforim had to address situations and shailos from men who asked how to make kiddush if their wife’s neckline was exposed, or other unheard-of shailos – and that was in the 1800’s. kal vechomer today. Rav Avigdor Miller ZTVK”L taught us powerful lessons about how the holocaust was midah keneged middah in every aspect of observance which klal yisroel abandoned in europe – tznius was one of them; because they did not dress modestly they were forced to be naked r”l and humiliated. Such powerful lessons need to be taught to today’s youth. The loss of tznius is the result of a bigger problem, a lack of understanding that you cannot raise a child in a home with televisions, internet(although yeshivanet is doing something wonderful, in my opinion), magazines and other poison and expect them to be yireh shamayim without painfully breaking themselves of their upbringing once they realize they have been thinking like a goy all their lives – sadly this is what happened to me, and I do not want anyone to experience that pain.
We need to take responsibility, first and foremost. It does not matter if something will drive people away – if someone will, chas veshalom, leave yiddishkeit because of not being able to flaunt one’s body, than you cannot blame chinuch or being ‘judgemental’ – you can blame whoever taught them the shtus. We live in a time when if you tell someone anything is the least bit wrong – you’re some kind of preacher or fanatic – this is not the 60’s where people did whatever they wanted and if, g-d forbid, someone voiced sechel, they were met with ‘get off my back, man’ inbetween pulls of marijuana.
Where is the line drawn? Why is it not considered judgemetal to tell your kids to keep shabbos or kosher? Why is it davka the things that america considers tabboo that we cant teach our kids? Why is it that if someone tells as girl how to dress they are judgemental, but if they say not to break shabbos they’re just doing chinuch? Same with pre-marital relationships and everything in that whole sphere – it’s a doubel standard with a line that can be drawn exactly where american attitudes draws it – when will we wake up?
Being judgemental is judging the person. If you tell a girl who is immodest that she’ll roast in gehinnom..thats not torah and that is judgemental, but that is as far as the concept extends.
Education isn’t the only thing – in places like shuls and other centers of the kehilos there has to be a zero tolerance policy for these issues – we can offer women tzniusdige clothing to wear just when they’re in shul(kind of like how they have talisim outside the shuls) just to instill a community-wide stance on tznius. Nothing is going too far, and nothing is to be considered ‘fanatical’. Like I wrote before, we can take a real lesson from the charedim in eretz yisroel – they react to the poisons of immodesty firmly and uncompromisingly, and so should we, even if that means ruffling a few feathers in the communities that are dens of this illness.