Definition of statistics: the science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
— Evan Esar
Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I’d rather just lie around. No contest.
— Eric Clapton
I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which are immediately proved wrong.
— Murray Walker
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
— Robert Benchley