Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.
— Chris Evans
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
— Harry S. Truman
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
— Rita Rudner
My grandfather likes to give me advice, but he’s a little forgetful. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
— Steven Wright