ok how do i say this?
i don’t do things that i don’t feel like doing. so don’t quote halacha because it won’t make a difference to me. i break so many halachos a day anyway.
about the relationship with hashem thingy: in a real relationship there’s no “faking it.” whenever i daven it’s because i really feel like it. sometimes it’s once a day, sometimes three times, and sometimes none. at least when i’m davening it’s real. i should say shaim hashem for nothing? (there’s ANOTHER sin to add to the list)
and WHY would i want to daven if i’m mad at hashem? and why would he want to listen if i’m asking for help to do more of the wrong things? i know that three quarters of what i do is wrong and i ask for help anyway. it’s a bit stupid, no? it’s like your kid coming to you and asking for money to buy drugs. stupid kid! go get your own drugs – don’t ask you father for money!
plus, it’s different with people. at least they talk back and you could see if you’re getting anywhere.
besides, i thought that a tfilla without kavana isn’t worth anything. isn’t there a chazal like that or something? (me quoting chazal – that’s a funny one!)