The Shomrei Emunim Rebbe Shlita told chassidim that when he was a child, his father the Rebbe zt”l would be engulfed in his tefilos, but nevertheless, always maintained a watchful eye on him, making certain than when the tzibur reached Kedusha, that he too recited it with the minyan. The Rebbe told chassidim that keeping the children in shul is of paramount importance, but they must be watched and taught. The Rebbe asked the tzibur to refrain from bringing children that are too small to shul since they are simply disruptive and not to bring children to just permit them to run around during tefilla.
“Outside of Eretz Yisrael, even the simple baalei batim know to watch their children during davening. Everyone makes certain to keep their sons at their side to teach them to daven. I don’t understand where we have learned that one may permit one’s children to run around outside during davening”, stated the rebbe.
Regarding the very small children, the rebbe explained that one tries to find zchus in everyone, but Halacha states plain and simple that children who are too young, and cannot behave, have no place in shul.
“One may say that these are avreichim who return home very late from beis medrash and simply do not see their little ones, and this is their opportunity for the week. They bring them to shul to elevate them, to teach them but he too lacks the patience to daven at that time, preferring to become engaged with the little ones” the rebbe added.
The rebbe made a request of his chassidim, to refrain from beginning the small children to shul since they simple disrupt the davening.
(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)
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7 Responses
Even when a little kid is running around, he is really observing the adults and will start to imitate them. That’s how kids learn. If they see Tatti davening and learning, they learn to daven and learn. If they see Tatti smoozing in the kiddush club, they learn from that (at least they’ll fit into the family).
I see that in the chaddishe shuls, the kids run around wildly and yet grow up into real menches with few drop outs, but in the Litvishe shuls, the fathers are very strict with their kids and don’t let them run around, yet they have a much higher and noticeable drop out rate.
I think the difference is that kids should be treated as kids when they are kids and not enforce adult rules on them. When they get older they will daven like every other adult.
Some mothers are going to be upset that their husbands will be davening and not baby sitting.
A respected mashgiach of one of the Yeshivos in Gateshead told me, that he never went to shul before his Barmitzvah. He therefore never got used to playing around in shul. When he started going, he had to daven.
As in most issues, the answer is the derech ha’bainoni, the middle path.
Fathers (and/or mothers) can not allow their kids to just run around hefker in shul, BUT, – they have to remember that they ARE kids, not adults, and can NOT be expected to sit quietly for 2 to 3 hours at a time. They have to be disciplined in a reasonable way according to their ages.
I actually have to agree with comment #1, that at the end of the day, kids usually will end up acting as adults the way they saw their parents acting.
lazerc
Wow you really have no clue what is going on in the Chassidush velt. Nebech there are many kids at risk…
I agree with Aaron Chaim, above.
Shul takes the place of the Bais HaMikdash. It is Hashem’s house and a holy place and has to be treated with respect while someone is in there, as the Shechina is there.
It is supposed to be used for either prayer or learning Torah. Parents are supposed to be concentrating on their prayers and not having conversations and not “shushing” their children and not babysitting their children. If a child does not come to Shul to sit and daven, but, instead, to play and run around; he should be at home and has no business being in Shul, until he is old enough to sit and daven. Shul is NOT a playground, NOR is it a babysitting service.
Would people allow their children to run around in the Bais HaMikdash and make noise? So why do they allow their children to run around in Shul and make noise? This shows disrespect for Hashem.
I love children; I even used to be one, many years ago. But there is a time and place for children. If they are not old enough to sit in Shul and daven, then they are not old enough to be in Shul.
During the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648 – 1649, when the Ukrainian Cossacks murdered thousands of Jews and destroyed many Shuls, the Tosfos Yom Tov ZT”L revealed that he was told in a dream that the devastation took place because of talking during prayer in Shul. Therefore, he wrote a Mi She-bayrach to bless those who refrained from talking during prayer.
The Mishnah Brurah cites idle chatter in Shul as a damaging force. It cites the testimony of the Eliyahu Rabbah who writes in the name of the Kol Bo: “Woe to those people who speak during the prayers. For we have seen several Shuls destroyed as a result of this sin.”
Rav Matisyahu Salomon, Shlita, Mashgiach of Beis Medrash Govoha, related that the Beis Yisrael ZT”L said that the Sfardi Jews in countries such as Spain were spared from the Holocaust, because of one particular merit. Unlike other Jewish communities, they did not converse during prayer and were blessed by the Mi She-bayrach of the Tosfos Yom Tov, many centuries earlier.
Children who observe adults talking during prayer will unfortunately think that it is allowed and could C”V grow up to do the same thing.