Intellegent, I have no problem with people being more machmir. I respect their desire to become more strict with their observance. However, when they preach about certain things being 100% assur, when they are NOT, but just held by a more machmir group – that irks me. Also, looking down on me for being not tzanua irks me – I may not have the standards YOU do, but that doesnt mean my standards are not halachically acceptable.
I had a teacher in 8th grade (a very impressionable time in my life) who used to yell at us that long skirts were 100% assur. She also yelled at me for wearing ankle bracelets under my tights. She would assur everything that didnt fit into her narrow view of Judaism, even if most other people held differently.
It really took me four years of high school to understand how she went wrong. Unfortuantely, this is a problem plaguing the Jewish community today – we assur things that are mutar, and then kids get fed up and do actual assurim because they really dont understand the difference. If everything is assur, kids wont want to keep anything. One of the beautiful things about Judaism is that there is rarely one right answer. But when we teach that there is only one, we lose a lot of understanding of the Torah.
As for Joseph’s comment – there is a BIG difference between varying halachic psaks vs something that is 100% assur. So yes, my rabbi might hold differently than yours, but its still within the valid lanes of halacha. Being mechalel shabbos is totally different.
I dont condone anyone driving to shul on shabbos, but if they did, I would hope it was because they were trying to get closer to Judaism. And maybe driving to shul (since they would be doing other mechalel shabbos things during the day anyway) will bring them closer to true Torah judaism.
Mrs Beautiful – the problem is, everything like “slingbacks” is subjective. My coworker told me he loves to walk through Boro Park (he lives nearby) because he finds the idea of a woman completely covered very enticing – it leads to him wondering about whats underneath. He also told me that he loves knowing their hair is covered because he imagines the hair is solely for him. So, do we make women wear less because of him? NO! He is just creepy. Everyone has their own vices, but that doesnt mean all women should stop because of it. I dont even think my husband would know WHAT slingbacks are.