The Goq – I don’t agree. Some of the bar mitzvos people make are huge. For me, I don’t feel it is appropriate for so much attention to be focused on one young girl; it’s different for a boy. Of course, everybody feels differently, and I definitely hear what you’re saying. But I don’t think that a nice, small family dinner is any less of a celebration than a huge catered meal in a fancy hall. I have really nice memories of friends and family members’ bas mitzvos celebrated in a simple, modest way. I know that my sister took my niece on a really expensive overseas trip, because it was cheaper than having a bas mitzvah party – in the school she goes to, there is a tremendous pressure to make your bas mitzvah party WAAAAYYY nicer (and far more expensive) than the last one. When my sister worked out the cost of such a huge affair (my niece was conveniently born right at the end of the year), she found that a 3-week trip cost less. In my opinion, that is way over the top. Every girl wants to fit in; nobody wants to be the nerd. I don’t believe there should be such a ridiculous pressure to make that whole shebang. It’s not a wedding! And I don’t think it’s very tznius, either.
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