Are either of these worse than the others?: Rejecting a shidduch because she’s a redhead, because she’s short or because she’s black?
Joseph,
There is one *major* difference at play here which you are ignoring.
If I’m looking for a shidduch, I may choose not to date redheads, short girls, blacks or whatever because I am just not physically attracted to those physical traits. Since we can all agree that physical attraction is an important part of a marriage, it stands to reason that a person should not seek a spouse they are not physically attracted to.
However, in the OP’s case, it’s not the potential spouse making the call, it’s her parents. They have *zero* say in whether or not the girl is physically attracted to the OP. The fact that they want to forbid this regardless of whether there is a physical attraction or not does, indeed, make it worse than the case you’re presenting.
I may not be attracted to redheads (and therefore choose not to date them), but I’m certainly not going to tell my kids “you’d better not date redheads.”
The Wolf (who, really, doesn’t have an opinion on redheads one way or the other — it’s just an example).