thank you all for your caring posts. i think the thread took a wrong turn, tho.
i guess i can clarify a few things:
i didnt feel it was necessary to relay any more details of the story than i did, as it was already too long. What I meant by
She understood what i meant, and that i was still hurt, and hasn’t called me since
was that she understood what i meant and that i was still hurt. I didn’t include the whole exchange, which is why you may feel like it wasn’t clear, but that was why i mentioned that it was clear.
also, i am not agonizing over this friendship or hoping for resolution. the fact of the matter is that what this friend has ‘morphed’ into is not really anyone i have much common ground with and im more than fine with it as is.
My only point was to the now blocked poster, that her approach was incorrect and potentially hurtful. It is never your job to tell someone else that they are in pain due to inadequecies in their bitachon, or to make it seem like living a pain free life is just around the corner. I then brought my story in to show how far this approach can go, to the point that one doesn’t even need to take responsibility for themselves because everything is from Gd.
Oomis said it well (as she so often does) and i would take it even further. Not only do you not say “Hashem made me do it”, but i was hearing, “Hashem wanted this to happen to you”. There are productive ways to express these points and that isnt one of them.