What I ended up figuring out from the phone dates with that person was basically everything I am not looking for in a shidduch.
In my case:
-BT (works for many, but it depends on who you are and how you became frum, I have a very unusual case in which it would not work for me due to my personal circumstances prior education and life experiences)
-Chabad (works for many- not for me. I have plenty of lubavitch friends and relatives).
-Unemployed but not in Kollel and no initiative to get a job or go to school and not even looking into semicha programs. Just bumming around with beer buddies, sees no potential in himself.
-No desire to further himself
-Pushover with not-solid hashkafos
-Bipolar (and he texted me to tell me instead of calling me… I went to the doctor. I called. I texted you. what happened at the dr office? I was diagnosed with bipolar today).
-Resentful of upbringing
-No desire to grow as a person
-Resentful of siblings who aren’t frum/family situation
-Jealous of my previous frum experiences
-Basically put his entire adult and personal life on hold because he started keeping shabbos. But on the converse, someone who was born frum, if they put their entire life on hold because of a bad teacher/other crazy lifestyle change (like frumming out), that wouldn’t work for me either.