I am 18 & looking for a shidduch. Three girls in my class are already engaged & many more are dating. I sit by my phone waiting for a text, a call, someone telling me they think they’ve found a boy for me. It hasn’t happened. Every simcha/social event I attend, I make sure to look my best. Looks shouldn’t have a lot to do with shidduchim- but I’m nowhere near ugly & not to mention I have a stellar personality. I’m not trying to sound cocky, or make myself sound amazing. Not at all. I’m just trying to illustrate a point. I think many people look at a girl/guy & think, “They’re so pretty/handsome, they’re such a great person, they have such a good personality, they must not be struggling at all therefore I don’t have to get involved.” But we all do! Also another thing which I feel contributes to the “crisis” is the emphasis on Yichus. Whether you’d like to admit it or not, yichus plays a huge role in shidduchim. Making it harder for people, like myself that came from religious homes- but not Yeshivish/black hat, whatever label you want to use, but have adopted that way of life. My family lineage is traced back to Dovid HaMelech, Rashi, to the Maharal from Prague… and then people look at my parents and say, oh her dad doesn’t wear a black hat? Her mom isn’t in skirts? She doesn’t even cover her hair?! This girl is no good for my son. It doesn’t even have anything to do with me, I am NOT my parents! I am me! But whenever I’m told this, I just remind myself that everybody rejected Rus- but in the end, she married Boaz.
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