Gavra, my thoughts are that Eretz Yisroel and chu”l are two entirely different worlds. You know my thoughts regarding the military service; I wish it were optional. If it became optional, you would see the situation there more closely resemble the one here. It wouldn’t happen right away, because there’s a certain culture ingrained, but it would happen (quicker than it’s already happening).
The appeal is heartrending, I hope exaggerated, but I don’t know. If someone were in that matzav here, I would say, “get a job, fulfill your kesuvah!”, and in fact, I haven’t seen any who don’t try. I really can’t cast blame on yungerleit there, though, because I really don’t know what the options are.
What you’re also neglecting to mention is the upside. A friend of mine was recently in E.Y. for a family event, and he was astounded by the way you can find people (not necessarily kollel people) in the batei midrash learning b’hasmadah at all times of day and night. Even the “sichas chulin” is on a different plane – people who we might consider ordinary baalei battim are quoting Gemaras, Midrashim, Rishonim, Acharonim, etc. back and forth in ordinary conversation.