Ffbb613, forgive me for asking, but did you NOT grow up ffb, which presumably means you grew up in a Torah home? Did you never feel a connection to Hashem in your home? If your crossroads decision includes possibly going to Seminary, then your parents must be machshiv Torah in their way. I think you should speak with them first and foremost and address your feelings with them. Also make sure you discuss kollel life with real kollel wives who are NOT being financially supported by their parents, and see how they feel after a couple of years of solely supporting their families while raising a family. Take the fantasy out of the equation and make your decisions based on REALISTIC expectations. Hatzlacha rabbah.
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