This is the most funniest yet twisted question I have ever come across.
I would say that in answer to your question, the real essence of being jewish has nothing to do with performing mitzvos.
Mitzvos are a bonus thing. A way to earn rewards and bring yourself to love Hashem and make Him happy.
Women are busy doing their own mitzvos. The ones above are not the only mitzvos in the Torah.
Being Jewish is a soul thing. A belief in Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu, the instintual middah every yid posses to have rachumonis on another human being, and to abhor and hate idol worship.
On the more practical note side of this, if Abishter wanted he could have intended all those mitzvos you mention above, for women too. And He didn’t.
Are men realParents just because they don’t carry a child for 9 months and give birth to it, then nurse it?
Its just that Aibishter didn’t intend for that part of the avodah to men.