2cool4school: I’m very sorry you’re going through this. My assumption (or guess) is that you’re a deeply emotional person. Probably very warm, caring and understanding. (These things often go together)
His book may just help you. Also, I wonder if a very experienced Torah-minded woman has written a book as well.
He strongly encourages bochurim to be deeply involved in learning while dating. He says, he himself would go directly from a delivering a chaburah (sort of a shiur for his friends) into a date. It left him on a high, and more importantly, he was occupied with other things than his date in the time preceding his date.
Do you work? Is there a project you can involve yourself in to leave you more relaxed – yet with your full personality – for the date?